If a website doesn’t have an FAQ, does the website even really exist? Following in the grand tradition of FAQs the world over, below is a list of questions (and answers), very few of which have actually been asked of us. But they could be. And some actually have been.

Click on a question:

I have an idea for a topic. How can I tell you about it?

We’ve got a form for that, or you can tweet us, or you can find Michael or Tim on the Measure Slack.

Are you guys in the same room when you record?

No. Tim is in Columbus, Ohio, and Michael is in Atlanta, Georgia, and the no-budget operation of this show to date has precluded the private jet that we’d hoped to charter every other week to allow us to meet up and record in the same room. Fun fact: did you know that NetJets, one of the leading fractional jet ownership companies, is based in Columbus? Despite Tim knowing multiple people who work there, he has not yet managed to finagle a “friends of” discount.

If you’re not in the same room, then how do you sound so awesome?

Okay… maybe we don’t sound awesome. But, if you go back and listen to early episodes, our production quality has definitely improved. We both have pretty nice mics (Yeti Blue, if you really want the details), and this question is really just an excuse for us to give a shoutout to Zencastr, which is an amazing little service that allows us to record all of our audio locally, while still keeping it in synch. In short: even if Michael’s lousy Comcast connection drops down to 14.4Kbps levels during the call, the final audio isn’t affected.

Do you really hate millenials?

Yes.

Really?

No. Of course not. We love all of our listeners, and that was a wisecrack about our own ages made in passing on an early episode…and then it just became a thing. We suspect we continue to let that be a running gag because we’re secretly terrified that snake people are smarter, more motivated, and more adaptable than we are, and we might not make it to retirement before some kid takes our jobs! We’re still working through these feelings with our respective therapists.

Why don’t you guys do outtakes? I bet they’d be hilarious.

We do. And they generally are. Why are you listening to anything else? Just skip to the last two minutes!

What’s with the “Rock, Flag, and <something>” at the end of every episode?

That’s a reference to a scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. ‘Merica! See the clip below (SFW):


Do you guys actually do real work with clients?

Tim does. Michael just has people for that.


Would you consider doing real work with my company?

Of course! You can find us both on Twitter, on the Measure Slack, or just go to Search Discovery and/or Analytics Demystified‘s sites.


Will you hire me?

Maybe. Search Discovery continues to grow, and their open positions are listed at the bottom of their About page. Analytics Demystified has Team Demystified, which are contractor roles with their clients.


How do I join the Measure Slack team you guys are always talking about?

Go to http://join.measure.chat and fill in the form. We’ll see you there!


What is the ROI you guys have achieved with the podcast?

There is no hard ROI. It’s really about driving awareness and engagement. 🙂

Actually, the podcast is more a personal and professional development exercise for us. We enjoy the conversations with each other and our guests, and we’re learning a lot in the process (both about the topics as well as about the mechanics of producing and measuring a podcast).